Yes. People love one other. It is how it is. The prince loves Cinderella. The other one loves the girl as a swan. Perhaps a mother can love all of her children. I don't know. My mother only loved me. She sold my brothers and threw Gavroche out and Azelma is too stupid to truly love.
[She sighs.] I know. I understand in my head, Sir. But my heart? She aches. This - all this with Kosem, she is lovely. But too lovely. I want when you took me on the roof and held me off the side. I was so ready to fall for you. I want you to be so. Is it abuse if I ask for it? Abuse would be as my Pa. Beating my ass for not bringing you coin. That was exciting. Thrilling. I long for it. I am bored here. I want to play. I just don't understand why you think I could be better. To wield power, there has to be beauty and mystery and seduction. Me, I am none of that.
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Date: 2022-07-27 06:24 am (UTC)[She sighs.] I know. I understand in my head, Sir. But my heart? She aches. This - all this with Kosem, she is lovely. But too lovely. I want when you took me on the roof and held me off the side. I was so ready to fall for you. I want you to be so. Is it abuse if I ask for it? Abuse would be as my Pa. Beating my ass for not bringing you coin. That was exciting. Thrilling. I long for it. I am bored here. I want to play. I just don't understand why you think I could be better. To wield power, there has to be beauty and mystery and seduction. Me, I am none of that.