Then what? Poison in her wine so she vomits and shits everywhere? Not to kill her but so everyone laughs? We could do that?
[Eponine's dull eyes sparkle and she claps her hands together as she imagines Kate and all of the other stuck up misses not being able to control their bowels.]
You're right. That is a better idea than spitting.
[Her smile turns to a frown.] I hate being a submissive. It's not fair. Always to be told what to do and told off and punished for speaking. There are lots that I prefer to Paris but this is not one of them. I dislike they have eyes and ears everywhere. In Paris, it were more free. I like that.
[Eponine's frown deepens.]
I didn't ask you to be my dominant. You asked me, Ma'am. I said yes for Mr Greyson, not you. I didn't ask you, and I didn't ask for you to be in danger.You shouldn't have chosen me. I am just trouble. You should have chosen someone nice, like Miss Blair. Or Ella. She's pretty. She would have been good for you, not a brat like your Eponine.
No, not that. I mean you endure it and don't rise to the provocation. The more you respond to perceived insults, the more you embody what they already think of you.
[She's reaching her limit for the day.]
Why do you need to laugh at them? Why do you even need to give them attention? You can be above them without paying any mind to them.
I know you didn't ask me.
I remember as well that you preferred Grayson for your contract. How does he feel about this trouble you cause? Does he wish to expose himself to that danger?
Because! Because I want to be like them! Don't you see? I thought, when I was in France...
[She pauses and draws in a breath.] There were a boy in the room next to my family's. Marius, he were called. Marius Pontmercy. He played at being poor but one sniff to know he has money, and such learned friends. And him too, clever. He liked to read, you know? I watched him, ages ages, but when it came to, he chooses Cosette. Me, I am just the beggar girl. Why would he look at me for marriage? Whoring but not to love. He never saw me.
[Eponine smiles wistfully.] I dreamed of a new dress and a bit of fat, and fat enough for my breasts to plump up. I thought with my hair done, I would be pretty. I thought I could fit in... but they'll never let me in among them. I just - I wish I were pretty and good and mild and meek and that. But no. I am ugly, horrid, rotten. I am a ghost. I just want to be a part, you know? But they'll never let me. I will always be alone.
If you behave ugly and rotten, you will be perceived that way.
[It was as harsh as she'd be in this city, but she had reached her limit of simple understanding.]
If you want to be like them and be accepted by them, then you need to learn how to tolerate their insults and disinterest. You have to learn to be less impulsive, less rash and less angry. I have said I'm willing to educate you. Grayson is willing to teach you to maneuver these situations better.
All of it comes down to you. You have to be willing to learn and not see it as an insult.
You are telling me that I should be willing to stand and let her call me a donkey's arse and smile and laugh like it is a big joke? Madame, in my time, I am whore, cunt, bitch, brat, slut, a shitstain on a mattress. I laugh and I laugh at the names and they get worse. I'm a bit fed up being nice and kind and good. Maybe I don't care. Maybe I don't care about any of you toffs.
[She pushes away from Kosem and makes for the door.] Maybe you can have my leftovers. Mr Greyson might prefer to stick his dick in a queen's pussy than a rat's anyway. I am fed up being a performing fox for you all. I am going where my people are, and I wouldn't bother following, Ma'am, for a toff like you? They'll slit your neck as soon as you look at them. Goodbye.
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no subject
Date: 2022-08-07 10:02 pm (UTC)[Eponine's dull eyes sparkle and she claps her hands together as she imagines Kate and all of the other stuck up misses not being able to control their bowels.]
You're right. That is a better idea than spitting.
[Her smile turns to a frown.] I hate being a submissive. It's not fair. Always to be told what to do and told off and punished for speaking. There are lots that I prefer to Paris but this is not one of them. I dislike they have eyes and ears everywhere. In Paris, it were more free. I like that.
[Eponine's frown deepens.]
I didn't ask you to be my dominant. You asked me, Ma'am. I said yes for Mr Greyson, not you. I didn't ask you, and I didn't ask for you to be in danger.You shouldn't have chosen me. I am just trouble. You should have chosen someone nice, like Miss Blair. Or Ella. She's pretty. She would have been good for you, not a brat like your Eponine.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-07 10:19 pm (UTC)[She's reaching her limit for the day.]
Why do you need to laugh at them? Why do you even need to give them attention? You can be above them without paying any mind to them.
I know you didn't ask me.
I remember as well that you preferred Grayson for your contract. How does he feel about this trouble you cause? Does he wish to expose himself to that danger?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-07 10:29 pm (UTC)[She pauses and draws in a breath.] There were a boy in the room next to my family's. Marius, he were called. Marius Pontmercy. He played at being poor but one sniff to know he has money, and such learned friends. And him too, clever. He liked to read, you know? I watched him, ages ages, but when it came to, he chooses Cosette. Me, I am just the beggar girl. Why would he look at me for marriage? Whoring but not to love. He never saw me.
[Eponine smiles wistfully.] I dreamed of a new dress and a bit of fat, and fat enough for my breasts to plump up. I thought with my hair done, I would be pretty. I thought I could fit in... but they'll never let me in among them. I just - I wish I were pretty and good and mild and meek and that. But no. I am ugly, horrid, rotten. I am a ghost. I just want to be a part, you know? But they'll never let me. I will always be alone.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-07 10:34 pm (UTC)[It was as harsh as she'd be in this city, but she had reached her limit of simple understanding.]
If you want to be like them and be accepted by them, then you need to learn how to tolerate their insults and disinterest. You have to learn to be less impulsive, less rash and less angry. I have said I'm willing to educate you. Grayson is willing to teach you to maneuver these situations better.
All of it comes down to you. You have to be willing to learn and not see it as an insult.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-08 05:59 am (UTC)[She pushes away from Kosem and makes for the door.] Maybe you can have my leftovers. Mr Greyson might prefer to stick his dick in a queen's pussy than a rat's anyway. I am fed up being a performing fox for you all. I am going where my people are, and I wouldn't bother following, Ma'am, for a toff like you? They'll slit your neck as soon as you look at them. Goodbye.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-08 06:14 am (UTC)[She just sighs at Eponine's words and turns away, going back to the couch.
As Eponine said goodbye, Kosem would simply ignore her.]